Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
