please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My balls are so social today.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize