dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
