my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
