just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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