I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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