Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
