The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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