fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
