So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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