i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
