As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
