drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
do herpes really smell.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
