Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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