you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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