they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
