so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
