the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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