nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
