I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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