Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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