I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
