I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
