I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
