so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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