i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dual....:-)
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
