They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
