I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
