How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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