So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
