Tell her she can't have a vagina
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
