Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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