Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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