i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
