She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
