I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
