epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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