i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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