I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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