started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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