can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
