I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
