Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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