You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
