so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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