just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
