Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
