I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
