Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
