I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
