i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
