We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Randomize
