he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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