So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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