I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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