Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
