69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
