Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
