Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
