How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
