At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
