god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
